This is the story of my colleague, Steve Disselhorst, from his childhood through today, from thinking he was straight to finding the love of his life and husband, and their journey to becoming parents. Steve's voice through the book is powerfully compelling, sometimes painful, sometimes funny, and always incredibly engaging. As a gay man, the book spoke to my own childhood and the struggles I had coming to terms with my sexuality. It is a beautifully spiritual story that will carry you from page to page along with him to the point where he and his husband and his two wonderful children settle into their happy nest in Northern California. We got to meet Steve's children a few days ago when he brought them into the shop to drop off copies of this book and it is clear to us that he was absolutely on the right track in being determined to be a dad. He's great!— Craig Wiesner
Steve's life has been consumed with the quest to create a family. As a boy raised Catholic in the Midwest, he grew up thinking he was straight and would marry a woman and have children. When he was confronted with his attraction to men and the eventual realization that he was gay, he gave up that dream of having a family and chose the route of gay singledom. As the times changed and he gained greater self-acceptance, he re-ignited his dream for a family and started the arduous journey toward parenthood.
Determined To Be Dad chronicles his trials and tribulations of self-discovery to acceptance to building a new reality and, finally, to the joys of creating his own family through adoption. With this tender and painful story, Steve offers his journey as a tribute to his desire for familial connection, overcoming self-imposed handicaps, and facing the harsh realities of two men trying to create a family. This is the story of faith, resilience, and the ubiquitous need for love and family.